Ladies, are you looking to improve your Menglish?

Weekend!Nightlife: On the Rocks

By anne marie distefano

The Portland Tribune, May 18, 2007, Updated Oct 30, 2009

Anne Marie DiStefano / Portland Tribune

Jaime Myers helps bridge the gap between Mars and Venus at PAX Programs’ seminars.

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The goal of PAX Programs Inc. is a major diplomatic feat. Its founder, Alison Armstrong, wants nothing less than to broker an armistice in the battle of the sexes.

Through a book, a set of DVDs and a series of seminars, Armstrong and her followers reach out to a female audience, explaining to them the mysteries of men. An introductory seminar titled “Making Sense of Men,” being free, is where most women start.

I arrive at the RiverPlace Hotel at 6:15 p.m. on a Thursday night. I am greeted by two women sitting at a folding table, who take names and hand out name tags. Inside a conference room, rows of chairs face a carpeted stage. On the stage are a podium and a dry-erase board. The Temple of Isis this ain’t.

Women ranging in age from about 18 to over 60 file in and sit down. Many are single but a surprising number are married. This program will help us relate better to men in all aspects of life, says our leader, Jaime Myers. She has a lesbian friend, she tells us, who found the seminar eye-opening.

But, of course, romantic relationships cause us the most confusion, sorrow and anger, and “Making Sense of Men” concentrates mostly on them.

Men talk funny

Myers first came into contact with PAX in Los Angeles, where the company was founded. She began leading seminars in San Diego, and has lived and worked in Portland for three years. Happily married, and freshly returned from maternity leave, Myers is a glowing endorsement for the power of PAX.

The acronym has a double meaning: “pax” is Latin for “peace,” and the letters stand for “partnership, adoration and xstasy.”

Myers talks about turning frogs into princes, and how many women have an unfortunate tendency to do the opposite. We need to stop being frog farmers, she says. We can do this by better interpreting the signals men are sending out, and responding accordingly.

Most of this interpretation involves giving a generous, positive reading to words and actions that, at first glance – if you’re a woman – appear cold, inconsiderate or just plain incomprehensible. The core message of PAX, as I understand it, is “cut the poor guys some slack.”

Apparently there are no hard-line feminists in the audience, since no one runs screaming from the room at the suggestion that really, it’s our job to learn their language. PAX cutely dubs the language of men “Menglish,” and makes clear the rewards of becoming fluent.

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