News Column

Moral of this sanctimonious tale: Bikes are good, cars are evil

On the town

By phil stanford

The Portland Tribune, Jul 21, 2008, Updated Oct 30, 2009 (57 Reader comments)

Sanctimonious: Pretending to be very holy or pious; affecting sanctity or righteousness – as, for example, in most if not all of the recent bike-rage incidents in the local news.

• • •

O.K., let’s start at the top:

1. Middle-aged bike enthusiast – who just happens to be driving his own gas guzzler at the time -- spots a biker running red light. So he pulls up beside him and tells him it’s bikers like him who give all the rest a bad name.

The biker, who happens to be an employee of the city transportation department, allegedly responds by slamming his bike against the car. And then the driver, when he gets out to continue the conversation, gets bonked himself.

2. Another biker doesn’t like the way someone is driving his car. Thinks he’s going too fast in a residential neighborhood, so he calls him a “gashole.”

The driver allegedly pursues him through the city streets, and before it’s all over, the biker ends up hanging on to the hood of the car for dear life. Driver is charged with assault, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief and driving while intoxicated. Talk about over-charging.

3. A bike messenger is riding home one evening when the passenger in a passing SUV – who, it should be immediately noted, works at The Bike Gallery downtown — yells out to him that he should be wearing a bike helmet.

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