Sports Column

And they all lived happily ever after

On Sports

By dwight jaynes

The Portland Tribune, Feb 9, 2007, Updated Oct 30, 2009 (29 Reader comments)

Just for something different today, I thought it would be fun to present a piece of pure fiction. So allow this to serve as a disclaimer: What follows has no grounding in fact that I know of and is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Please don’t take it seriously, as it’s meant only to provide a chilling winter tale for all who are secure in their love for Portland’s professional basketball team.

Our little story is set in the future, not the past. It’s opening night of the next NBA season — just to make things a wee bit more scary, let’s say Halloween night. Paul Allen is making the journey from somewhere underneath the arena to his courtside seat.

As he emerges from a tunnel, he’s met with a monstrous standing ovation. He is so loved in this arena and in this town. Shyly, he acknowledges the applause with a wave of his hand and readies himself for the 2007-08 debut of his team, which got supremely lucky in the draft lottery the previous June and now counts Greg Oden as its starting center.

What a team — with Sergio Rodriguez the starting point guard, Brandon Roy the shooting guard, Travis Outlaw the starting small forward, Zach Randolph at power forward and Oden at center. Martell Webster is the first man off the bench, and LaMarcus Aldridge is pushing Randolph and Outlaw for minutes up front. This team is ready to make a big jump in the West.

And Seattle is pumped.

Uh, yes, it’s a very exciting night here in KeyArena. You see, Allen — who had a plan all along that he never shared with anyone but his fellow Vulcan mind-benders — was able last May to pull off a rare game of NBA musical chairs.

He got Clay Bennett to move his Sonics out of Seattle and into Bennett’s home town of Oklahoma City — a city that lost its team when the Hornets moved back to New Orleans.

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