Allen’s asking himself all the wrong questions

By Dwight Jaynes

The Portland Tribune, Mar 14, 2006, Updated Oct 30, 2009

You have to hand it to Paul Allen. He really has some sense of comedic timing. The owner of the Trail Blazers finally decided to answer a few questions about his intentions with his basketball team Friday, on the team’s Web site.

Of course, they weren’t questions from fans or media in Portland. They were his own questions, suited to provide appropriate spin on his wacky recent moves. The hilarious irony is that the whole thing was released on the same day Forbes magazine came out with its latest list of the world’s richest men.

Allen, you may have heard, moved from No. 7 to No. 6 in the world, adding another billion bucks to his net worth, which now has climbed to $22 billion. Sorry, Paul Ñ when you drone on and on about “broken economic models” I’m having trouble keeping a straight face. Just as I do when you drop this line out there: “As a businessman. É” Very funny.

The only thing notable in Allen’s online conversation with himself was a new trend of distancing himself from all the franchise’s bad decisions. Oh, no, he didn’t do the lease arrangement at the Rose Garden. That was Marshall Glickman’s fault. And, no, he doesn’t tell his scouts whom to draft or trade Ñ they do that on their own. Spare me, please.

Fact is, Allen is a computer geek who got out-of-this-world lucky with software, and that doesn’t make him a businessman. All his silly ventures in yachts, music and science fiction museums, space travel, UFO research and the like only affirm that. Hey Ñ I’m not condemning that. It’s his dough, and he can fritter it away where he chooses. But he’s never impressed anyone with his business acumen.

He spends money on toys, not investments.

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